Okay, I’ll admit, I’ve fallen behind on some reviews, and I’ve watched a lot since December. So here’s a lightning round of quick reviews I wrote for a bunch of things I’ve watched since then.

Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)

This was a dull mess. Gal Gadot is a great Wonder Woman, but the idea that she spent 70 years pining for one guy seems insanely unrealistic (Mario says in a movie about a stone that grants wishes). I get they were trying to channel Steve Rogers pining for Peggy Carter, but in defense of that, Peggy was still alive when he was thawed from the ice. Other than that, Kristen Wiig was great early on as Cheetah, not so much when the full transformation happens. Poor Pedro Pascal was wasted as faux-Donald Trump Maxwell Lord.

Mario’s Take: Huge disappointment after the first movie.

The Upside (2017)

Kevin Hart and Bryan Cranston star as an ex-con and a billionaire quadriplegic brought together when Hart tries to just get a signature to show he’s actively searching for a job. Nicole Kidman plays Cranston’s assistant, and the three of them all play off each other really well. Kevin Hart especially brings out his dramatic side.

Mario’s Take: Good, would watch again.

Mythic Quest: Raven’s Banquet (2020)

Legitimately great. It’s a less vulgar It’s Always Sunny.

As someone who is in the creative field, a show about an MMORPG (think World of Warcraft) just screamed “I need to watch this”. Created by the minds behind It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and starring Rob McElhenney himself, this Apple TV+ show brings the same energy that show does, but takes it from a dive bar in Philly to a game design studio in LA. Having F. Murray Abraham on the show as the video game’s writer is a hilarious touch.

Mario’s Take: Definitely watch this if you have an Apple TV+ subscription.

Love, Guaranteed (2020)

A genuinely cheesy but fun little romantic comedy.

As a single man in the online dating world, this movie really spoke to me. Damon Wayans Jr. stars as a man suing the Love, Guaranteed dating website after he goes on 1,000 (yes, that’s THREE ZEROS) unsuccessful dates. Rachel Leigh Cook plays his lawyer who takes on the case, and does her own investigating to make sure he’s not some charlatan trying to make a quick buck. The ending of the movie is EXACTLY what you’d expect, and it leans into the cheesiness of it in a way that you almost have to respect.

Mario’s Take: An enjoyable watch, even if it’s completely predictable.

My Perfect Romance (2018)

These two have the chemistry of peanut butter and sardines.

This was part of my friends and I’s “bad movie marathon”. This was along the same lines of Love, Guaranteed in that it’s about dating sites, but with all the charm of a Lifetime movie. Despite it constantly seeming like the beginning of a bad adult film, it was too boring to make fun of.

Mario’s Take: I still haven’t forgiven my friend for making us watch this on Valentine’s Day.

Onward (2020)

I’ll start off truthfully, I loved this movie. Unfortunately, I watched it the same week a tragedy in my life happened and I’m forever going to associate this movie with being the thing I watched to start off that horrible week in January. But for those of you who don’t have that to deal with, you’ll enjoy this movie, especially if you have a brother or are a Dungeons & Dragons fan. It’s Pixar’s attempt at a road trip film, and they nail the landing.

Mario’s Take: This movie was great, but man, this was the start of a rough week.

Superman: The Movie (1978)

It’s pretty obvious in hindsight that Hackman is wearing a bad wig here.

Christopher Reeve is still THE most iconic Clark Kent/Superman on film, even 40 years later. I used to be much harsher on this movie in my younger days, but as an adult I appreciate what this movie was able to achieve, even if Marlon Brando didn’t bother learning his lines. Gene Hackman as Lex Luthor is a delight in hindsight, even though I always preferred the businessman Lex Luthor, even if he’s just skinny Kingpin. I always wondered what the original ending to this would have been since director Richard Donner was fired before finishing both this and Superman II at the same time. Speaking of…

Superman II (1980)

Remember that random trio in the beginning of Superman: The Movie that are banished to the Phantom Zone? They escape and act like fools and somehow don’t defeat Superman with ease despite having a three on one advantage. I STILL remain harsh on this movie years later, because it’s a genuinely dumb movie, despite Terrance Stamp’s great performance as General Zod. Seriously, who just gives up their powers for someone?

Superman III (1983)

This is a Richard Pryor comedy that just happens to have Superman in it.

Superman IV (1987)

This movie is a hilarious travesty. This was released TWO YEARS before Tim Burton’s Batman, and looking at the quality of this, you’d never think it was made in the late 80’s. However, this movie gives us a young Jon Cryer as Lex Luthor’s nephew Lenny, which is fun in hindsight as Cryer is now playing Lex Luthor on CW’s Supergirl.

Mario’s Take: Watch the first two for historical purposes (the first is amazing), and ditch the other two unless you want to do a bad movie marathon of some kind.

Coming up: get ready to read a LONG rant on the latest adaptation of Stephen King’s The Stand.

Mario's Musings: A Lightning Round