Mario’s Musings (Halloween Edition): Pet Sematary
“Sometimes dead is better.”
Every piece I’ve written so far has been overly positive. What can I say? I’m easy to please and I like movies, but not ALL the time. Take this garbage heap of a remake for instance, because you’re about to see some hot fire with this one. And to be honest, I wasn’t that big of a fan of the original either. The remake came out earlier this year and the original came out 30 years ago.
Why I’m a dog person. And no, I haven’t read or seen Cujo. Don’t message me.
The story of Pet Sematary was simple. Louis Creed moves to Maine with his wife Rachel, and their young children Ellie and Gage. Behind their new house is a “Pet Sematary” where the local children buried their pets, but beyond the cemetery is an Indian burial ground. You bury something there, it comes back to life, and terror ensues. The remake and the original are proof that the phrase “the book was better” rings true a lot more often than you think. Pet Sematary is one of Stephen King’s most depressing books, and one he almost didn’t publish because of how depressing it was. It’s about death and the human reaction to it.
The original movie takes it to a somewhat campy level, but that was the 80’s and you were able to get away with it back then. That movie made a girl with spinal meningitis seem like the most terrifying thing in the world. An undead little boy came off as incredibly campy when in the book he’s genuinely terrifying. And then there’s the ending, which kind of beats you over the head rather than leaving you on the edge of your seat like the book did. But despite all that, the movie became a cult classic.
Jason Clarke is an underrated actor.
The remake is a different story. Oh boy, is it a different story. First, imagine a movie where John Lithgow, playing Jud, is practically sleepwalking through the flick and almost seems like a bad actor as a result. Herman Munster at least looked like he was awake for most of the original movie. At least Jason Clarke and Amy Seimetz make up for Lithgow’s performance. Then again, Clarke acted his ass off to make Terminator Genisys somewhat watchable. But their performances are really the only bright spot, especially when Clarke’s Louis Creed slowly loses his sanity after using the Indian burial ground to bring back a loved one.
Another big criticism is the atmosphere for the main burial scene where Louis and Jud bury Ellie’s cat, Church, at the Indian burial ground. Talk about an eye roller. They try to paint it as an ominous scene by showing lightening strikes as they’re preparing the grave for the cat. And then there’s the midway point, where they basically say “eh screw it, let’s completely betray what the book was about.”
Gage from the original Pet Sematary in 1989. The 80’s were a messed up time till the very end.
It’s the big change from the book that I was sort of okay with in theory. It’s kind of hard to make an undead three year old seem scary when Child’s Play has become a pop culture horror franchise since the original movie released. It would also be odd seeing a three year old say some of the horrible things that come out of Gage’s mouth, but at the same time, it’s a work of fiction. It’s supposed to be scary. It’s supposed to shock you. Changing it for the sake of being different is, well, not always great, especially since that change ends up changing everything that follows.
The ending of the story was so simple, but this movie just goes for the standard horror movie trope of showing more than needs to be shown and really lessening the impact of the book’s message. The book is about grief and the things it drives us to do. This just… ugh, it went in a completely asinine direction that I can’t really describe without spoilers. If you need me, I’m going to go hug my dog now.